Gina Maria

Scrolling, scrolling.

Are we inspired…

 or tired?

The art of distraction…

A vacuum for your time.

As we analyze our enemies,

Our fruit grows stale.

Knowledge not managed is wasted.

Do not merely post the Bible verse on Facebook, & So deceive yourselves. You must DO what it SAYS.
I used to get in trouble back in elementary school for sharing my food at lunch. Back then, I didn’t need a filter.

Companies create a need to distract us from those in need. Can you eat your phone?

Check my Facebook at a red light asking myself,

“When did this become normal?”

“Joshua son of Nun, who had been Moses’ aide since youth, spoke up and said, ‘Moses, my lord, stop them!’ But Moses replied, ‘Are you jealous for my sake? I wish that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would put His spirit on them!”

– Numbers 11:28-29

Almost two weeks ago, I started the 90 day Bible in the NIV. I can’t recommend it enough. The writers have revised the text to read incredibly clearly and concisely – I’m retaining a lot more information than I expected! And I’m already nearing the end of the book of Numbers; a book that I have not yet read straight through until now.

The earliest books of the Bible are incredibly gripping, as the main characters all possess passionate intimacy with God Almighty. Moses, in particular, speaks with God in a nearness not seen anywhere else.

I’ve always considered Moses lucky to have had that unmatched favor with the Lord. However, in taking a closer look, I now feel the burden attached to glory. Many times, God only allowed Moses to enter His Presence. He was then given the charge of relaying the immortal messages to the Israelites; who, usually, grumbled in return. And once the grumbling reached God’s ears, He would vent of His wrath onto His favored one.

Eventually, Moses crumbled under the pressure; begging God to evenly distribute the wealth of responsibility and calling. God responded by commanding Moses to bring 70 of the most respected Israelite elders, that His spirit may come upon them too.

As this significant moment in history unfolded, Moses’ trusted aide Joshua sensed the shift. He begged Moses to stop the others from prophesying. Why? Because he understood Moses’ favor and couldn’t fathom the possibility of such nearness multiplied – that is, how could a multitude of people conceivably experience the same intimacy with God on so many different levels….simultaneously?

Moses responded, in a sense, with a prayer. He prayed that the Lord would put His spirit on all His people – that they all may experience both His voice and their newfound duty to obedience of what they’ve heard. And, incredibly, God answered that prayer many years later. Through the life and death of His son, Jesus Christ, and the baptism of the Holy Spirit received after salvation, Christians now carry the presence of God. We commune with Him in varying levels of intimacy; all at the same time.

And, like Joshua, we’re still in awe.

 

 

Just learnin to ride the line between contentment and expectancy…

Never fully satisfied but never disappointed.

Not trying to make you feel bad,

But I was made for greater things…

It’s too late for ignorance,

Too soon for bliss,

So I’ll settle for an unsettling reality.

And risk the risk

And what ifs 

And I told you so’s…

Continuously reminding myself…

…only love turns the wheels of this life.

“But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.”

• 1 John 2:11

I’m 24. I want to know where I’m going. Don’t we all?

On this life-long journey of not so much self-discovery as God-discovery, and me-in-God discovery, He continues to show me where to go. Sometimes it’s an unmistakably clear confirmation through such supernatural means; it had to be Him. Sometimes He allows His wisdom to transform my earthly thoughts into thoughts of Heaven. But sometimes, His living word excitedly breathes a hidden treasure into my heart.

This past weekend, God led me to this verse in 1 John to confirm the power and validity of His latest means of discovery in me – healing.

The verse says that hatred blinds us and keeps us in darkness. If that’s true, the opposite must also be true. Forgiveness frees us and unleashes the light needed to see where we’re going. 

In other words, the ability to discern where I’m going is contingent upon where I am and where I’ve been. My past does not necessarily dictate my future – but it will, if I don’t allow myself to heal. And any residual hatred or unforgiveness towards a family member, friend, – or even Jesus – will blind me from discovering my purpose and destiny.

 

Well, okay. How do we heal from emotional wounds?

Many have attempted to answer this question. In my experience, one sentence sums it all up:

BY HIS WOUNDS, WE ARE HEALED.

 Jesus’ death and life promises freedom in every area of our lives. The Cross really is that powerful.

Do you believe that?

If not, ask God to give you supernatural faith in the authority and power of the Cross. Then, walk in it! Begin thanking Jesus for willingly bearing your own personal wounds, so you don’t need to. Talk to him. Talk it OUT. Ask him what he wants you to release to him, then give it to him. Say,

“Jesus, I believe that by your wounds, I am healed. I believe that she whom the Son sets free is free indeed. I give you this wound caused by my family/friend/whomever. I give you my pain. I know that you’ve experienced this very specific pain so that I don’t have to. I crucify this pain on the Cross with you. I know the Cross historically happened over 2,000 years ago, and that you felt my current pain 2,000 years ago, but I announce it now because now I believe it and receive it. What do you have to give me in return? I receive your forgiveness. I receive your peace. I receive your blessed assurance that I will never need to deal with this pain again. And I receive your blessed assurance that I truly forgive whomever has hurt me. AMEN!”

Now – please don’t say these words without first asking God for the faith in the truth behind them. There’s no magic in these words. There’s no magic in the way you say them. There’s power in the Cross, and we receive that power through faith. 

And as we allow the Cross to heal us, we receive direction. Personally, after releasing a parent wound to Jesus, he spoke major freedom into my character. He revealed to me just how this wound plagued my personality and habits – but he didn’t just leave me there. He gave me an awareness of my harmful tendency to rebel, and then freed me from it. He promised me a new ease in achieving maturity through accomplishing adult tasks without the hindrance of rebellion. Finally, he showed me how this new maturity will make my path clearer and lead me to where I’m going. 

Healing shines a light on our path. Unforgiveness keeps us blinded.

Which will you choose?

 

As waves of shame create caves of blame,

fear enslaves the saved.

Trapped in darkness,

Blinded by hatred,

Freedom fades.
But even in the night, hope speaks.

It says, “the cause of a problem is not its solution.”
So we look up….
….allowing the Son’s radiance to laser through the mouth of the cave and melt the mud of complacency and dead faith.
And suddenly, peace becomes a person.

This morning, I threw a temper tantrum. Why? Because Lee at the nail salon declined my attempt to use my gift card towards a 30 minute massage.

For weeks, I’ve sought out the best date for this massage, and today was the day. I have several hours free. My back hurts from work. It’s the warmest day of the year thus far – perfect day for a free massage.

I mean, can you suggest a better use of my time?

I donned a revealing black camisole; my designated massage shirt – and, to conceal my cleavage from the outside world, a tee shirt on top. I drove to the salon in high spirits, marched right in and declared to everyone that I had arrived for my massage.

But Lee, the petite and piercing female owner, made a crooked face. As gently as possible, she regretfully informed me: because I’ve already used half of my balance on a massage, I cannot use the other half on another massage. She cheerfully attempted to steer me towards receiving a spa pedicure.

I wasn’t having it.

I whined, I moaned. I said, “But my mom paid cash!” After several no’s, I stormed out, claiming I didn’t have enough time for a pedicure.

Smoke bellowed from my nostrils as I pressed the unlock button on my keychain and opened the car door and swung in. I turned the key into the ignition and swore to forever avoid that place. I rehearsed my complaint to my mom and vowed to give her the gift card to ensure never seeing Lee’s face again.

Now, let’s backtrack. Before I even got out of bed this morning, I had begun memorizing a portion of Psalm 19.

“The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul.”

I could sure use a soul refresh button right about now. As I drove to my next destination, (running errands for my mom at Walmart), I began to wonder of God’s law in this situation. Are there any Bible verses about dealing with the denial of a free massage?

“Bless those who persecute you….?”

Sure, we’ll go with that.

I started praying that God would bless Lee and her husband and her employees and her customers.

Soon enough, my car pulled into the Walmart parking lot. I saw the Panera Bread next door. I realized I was hungry. I went in, ordered a breakfast sandwich, and shared Jesus with the girl who took my order.

Sitting at a table against the window with my almond latte, God spoke to me.

If I had received that massage, the interaction with the cashier wouldn’t have happened. And if I had received that massage, I would have also disobeyed Him.

I forgot, but a while ago, God convicted me for wearing revealing outfits and getting touched by strangers. Don’t misunderstand me – getting a massage is not necessarily a sin. But examine the motives behind it. Yes, my back hurts. But God understands the intentions and details of my heart more thoroughly than I do. He knows my struggle with purity. He knows my desire for physical intimacy. He knows that in that dark room, my mind will wander.

In the denial of what I thought I wanted, He protected me.

This might not be how you had anticipated my revelation process. You may have thought I would say something like, “God spoke to me and told me I was being selfish and that I should be grateful for living in a country where I can afford even the car to drive to the nail salon.”

But…that’s not what He said. Because if He did, that would replace my selfishness with guilt.

God doesn’t speak in guilt tones. He speaks the language of love. And though I did eventually realize my ridiculousness and thank Him for His provision, He knew the main issue in my heart was not ungratefulness, but impurity.

After all, the Word commands us to be holy in all we do; as He is holy – surely, an impossible feat without His grace. But greater levels of intimacy require greater levels of obedience. And if God convicts you of something, it doesn’t matter what other people say. You’re accountable for what He’s shown you.

But thankfully, we don’t need to try harder – we need to try less. Jesus lives in us. Let Him do all the work.

And for the record, I will go back to the salon eventually to claim my free pedicure and apologize for my behavior. Let’s hope Lee lets me back.

There comes a point in our walk with God when we must begin praying over others with confidence that we will hear His heart for them. It’s scary.

But He always speaks.

Recently, I participated in a corporate prayer session after church for a young man named Mike. Mike just graduated from a drug & alcohol Christian rehabilitation program called Pivot House; and landed an internship controlling the sound board at a local Assemblies of God church.

During prayer, I tangibly felt God direct me to address and bless Mike’s gift of worship. I spoke freely, thanking the Lord for leading His son to this new church; where he will have the freedom to share his gift. I also promised Mike I would come visit him on his first Sunday.

Next Saturday night, as I remembered my promise, I moaned. I didn’t really feel Iike going. But if there’s anything I’ve learned about Sunday mornings, it’s this – when I don’t want to go to church, it’s because I need to.

So, I visited Mike on his first day. Because I’d attended one other church of this denomination, I thought I knew what to expect.

I was wrong.

I stepped into a traditional older church building, and into a sanctuary filled with white wooden pews and stained beige patterned cushions. Blood red carpet drapes the floor and the stairs leading up to the stage; passing a “We Stand With Israel” sign hung on the left wall.

Most members of the congregation aged upwards of 60; hymnals in hand. The scary man leading the music announces that they’ve sung the same opening song every Sunday since the start over 50 years ago, so why are we so quiet? He then spoke sternly to Mike in front of everyone; scolding him about the volume of his microphone.

I just prayed.

But anxiety crept in as I remembered the words I prayed for him – promises of expression and growth in his gift of worship. Now, upon experiencing Mike’s new old school environment…those promises seemed impossible. I put my head down.

“Lord, I thought you led me to pray for Mike’s new opportunities here?” I asked. “It doesn’t seem like these folks would welcome change very well…”

And I began to doubt my ability to hear Him.

The service continued and eventually ended. I greeted Mike afterwards as he pulled me aside excitedly.

“So…are you free on March 20th? The pastor here wants to bring young people in to change things up and he’s allowing me to lead worship on that morning! So I could really use anyone that would be willing to serve.”

Well, well, well. My doubts lied, again. I was right. I did hear God.

I assuredly agreed to help and immediately thanked the Father not only for leading me to pray that prayer – but answering it. Then, I thanked Him for dragging me out of bed to tangibly see the answer for myself; and allowing me to be a part of it. And finally, I thanked Him for teaching me to hear His voice. Because if I had never obeyed His nudging in the first place, none of this would have happened.

God is real. And God is good.

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then, I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you.”

• Psalm 51: 12-13 NLT

Psalms are underrated, man. The pretty book most likely to be printed on Bible verse refrigerator magnets possesses more power than I’ve ever realized. For one, praying the Psalms molds our minds into the mind of Christ. And, they never get old! In an instant, God can transform a poem heard hundreds of times into a sparkling new promise. He did it for me this morning.

First, let me say this. During the communion at Parkway Assemblies of God Church in Norwalk, CT, I ate the wafer too soon and had to pretend I put something in my mouth and chew when we all stood and partook of the sacrifice in unity…phew. Just had to get that off my chest.

After the congregation ate the wafer while I practiced my acting skills, one of the deacons recited the first half Psalm 51 by memory. We then drank the grape juice, and he continued into the second half of the psalm.

But then, it happened. I heard something I had never heard before.

…and they will return to you.

Wait, what? Who will return? And…what was the first part of the clause again?

Now, Psalm 51 is one of those chapters that many of us have memorized. We know the story behind it – King David’s confession and heartfelt repentance of his sexual sin with Bathsheba. We know the promise of God’s presence and of His redeeming love to David. But before today, I never saw just how far God extends His promise of redemption.

And, not surprisingly, this word falls just in time. God has given me a ministry in redeeming the pains and breaking the chains of sexual addictions in women. But in order for this ministry to really fly, I need to completely consecrate myself as His holy vessel.

But what about those moments when temptation intersects with curiosity? I need to regularly pray that He would make me willing to obey Him. He will answer me. And then, I will teach others of His ways. After all, I cannot teach something I haven’t first experienced myself.

But the most exciting part of the promise? My teaching won’t be in vain. No, no, no. I will see fruit. The rebels will return to Him! Hallelujah!

I encourage you to begin praying this portion of Psalm 51 in a new light. Ask God to reveal to you the areas in your life in which you need Him to make you willing to obey Him. Then, pray. Record what He does.

And finally, TEACH! He’ll move. As we declare it, rebels will return.

Every Thanksgiving, I say the same thing. “I wish I could eat stuffing more than once a year.” People laugh and nod in agreement every time. 
But today, I realized – along with baked bread and sausage, the posture of thankfulness should also remain a regular member of the dinner table. And that kitschy question answered between forkfuls of turkey and gravy doesn’t get enough credit. What am I thankful for, anyway? And why do I have to remind myself of what I know I have?

Colossians 3:15 says, “And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful.”

Paul mentions a few concepts here; two that seem contradictory – peace and control. We tend to think of peace as something passive, not active. How can Jesus’ peace actively control our hearts?

By us actively giving thanks.

As we give thanks, our pride melts. We start with our lives, our families, our friends, our opportunities. And soon enough,  we’ve surrendered to the control of peace. We’ve become more pleasant people. We don’t mind living with ourselves. Because ultimately, who doesn’t want a heart controlled by peace?

Make it a habit to actively give thanks every night. It’s worth it.

Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.’”– John 6:35

We all crave our fathers’ approval. We don’t all receive it. But those of us fortunate enough to regularly hear the coveted words, “I love you,” and “You’re beautiful,” from the mouths of our earthly fathers can more readily accept words of love spoken by our Heavenly Father. I, thankfully, can attest to this. Because God blessed me with a loving, gentle, earthly Father, receiving from and relating to my Heavenly Father flows naturally; through the person of the Holy Spirit.

Speaking of the Holy Spirit…He gets me, too. Though I’ve grieved Him in the past, He’s remained faithful. He’s my comforter, my teacher, my friend. And we fall deeper and deeper into love each time I worship. I can’t sing or dance without Him. Now, we talk all the time – He even helps me pick out a parking spot.

But relationally connecting to the second member of the Trinity, the Son, has never been easy. For those of us raised in church, “died for our sins” very well could be Jesus’ last name. Our ears hear that powerful, precious name and our mind automatically fills in the painful suffix.

And while every bit of that description is true; over time, without a real relationship, the words wither in love and grow in guilt. Yes, Jesus died. But what else did He do?

He rose again. He’s alive. And He tells us that just as we believe in, adhere to, and trust in the Father, we are to believe in, adhere to, and trust in Him.

Um, this confession is quite embarrassing. I’m a Christian admitting that I don’t quite know Christ. Sure, I believe in Him and I accept His words as truth. But have I really searched the riches of who He is? Every spiritual blessing is found in Him. And order to access these blessings, we must lose our lives in love for the Son; feeding on His faithfulness.

But my sins made Jesus DIE. Why would he accept my love now?

Because we are the joy set before Him.

Just how much does Jesus love it when we love him?

“Then Jesus spoke up and said, ‘Every time I do the will of the Father who sent me, I enjoy a feast.’”
– John 4:34 TPT

Jesus spoke these words after an enriching divine appointment with the Samaritan woman at the well. See, time spent with Him is not only food for us – it’s food for Him. As we feed on His faithfulness, He feeds on ours.

If you find yourself feeling guilty at the mention of His name, I would encourage you to press into Him. Ask Him how He really feels about you. Tell Him what’s on your heart and let Him change your mind. He’s more than willing to live through you. And He is the way, the Truth, and the life – He is our connection to the Father!

The enemy attaches guilt to His name because he knows how much power it holds. He knows the incredible intimacy made available to us because of Jesus’ blood. And he fears a people so connected to the Cross, because ultimate humility brings glorification – bringing God’s Kingdom, here and now.

Do not feed on lies, feed on Truth – He is the Bread of Life.