sovereign over all

“Where are you working now?”

Every artist’s most dreaded question.

I’m still there. Er, here. I’m here. I think.

What?

It’s hard to explain.

I was there for a while. Then, I tried doing something else. That something else was nothing. So I left.

I went somewhere else.

Now, I’m here. Here is hard. I thought I was just going to be doing one thing, but I do multiple things. And all the things aren’t really anything. I don’t know what I do.

The people I don’t listen to told me not to take the position.

The people I do listen to said, “You can do this.”

I said, “I can do this.”

But it’s hard.

It makes me nervous. That means I’m growing…right?

I don’t know. I don’t have insurance. And I don’t know how much money I’ll make each month. And I don’t have a professional email address.

I get nervous when I go to work because I don’t want to do it. But it gives me the time to do my art…

…I think. I don’t know.

It’s not that bad.

But I don’t want to do it.

I want to quit but I’m afraid to quit because I don’t want people to think I’m a quitter.

I’m afraid to quit because I don’t want God to be mad at me because I messed up His plan.

Wait a minute….

 

Author: Gina Maria

28-years-old. Greek & Italian. Amy Winehouse's long lost Jesus-loving sister.

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