hey!

listen…I’m aware of your intimate knowledge of all that I am. I know that You know what I’ll do before I do it. my question to you is this:

would you change my personality?

here’s what needs to change: I would love the willingness and finesse to digress from obsession with things and feelings and people. I know You know that if I like it, I can’t say no. and “it” will obsessively overtake my thoughts. so…can you make it easier for me to say no?

please?

…why not?

 

oh, yeah. I forgot about free will. and yeah, I remember how hard I fell,

for You.

but back then, You were new. my bright and shiny faith hastingly faced me down on the floor as You opened up the door to Freedom. your voice called me upward. and I rose to the challenge of loving you because you rose for me.

today, it’s not as easy. I ignore your holiness. I doubt your promises. the evidence of your handiwork destroyed by the hands of my own forgetfulness.

here’s my point: stillness is a struggle. passively, I drift toward other channels, willingly not wearing my armor. but if the knowledge of you speaks too quietly to quiet the rushing waters of my mind….

then maybe, just maybe…the knowledge of You,

isn’t enough.

 

………………..

 

sigh.

thank you.