secrets

i tell secrets to people driving in other cars.
i talk to myself.
and i talk to my friends
more than i talk to you.

when I talk to You, You take away
all that ails me.

but…
i like my anxiety.
it’s my blanket.
And i like my lust,
it’s keeps me from boredom.
and i like my pride.
it gives me something to talk about
and i like my laziness.
it buys me time.

but at some point
I inevitably crack
under the pressure of maintaining my façade.
I crack under the pressure of convincing others that I’m somehow mentally, physically, and emotionally thriving in
walking without repentance.
I’m not.
I can’t be.
The mind ruled by the flesh is DEATH
But the mind ruled by the spirit is LIFE
And

PEACE.

So when I crack
And your light shines through
Melting me…
You share secrets.
I remember that it was not I who chose You
But You
Chose me.

Author: Gina Maria

28-years-old. Greek & Italian. Amy Winehouse's long lost Jesus-loving sister.

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